“This is my routine. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My routine is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I master my life. My routine, without me, is useless. Without my routine, I am useless…My routine is human, even as I, because it is my life.”
A friend of mine told me there are only three days of importance in Iraq: the day you arrived, the day you leave, and Monday because every day is Monday.
Today is actually Friday and it is our 180th day of being officially mobilized. It is hard to believe it has already been six months and we are half way done. Sometimes if feels like it was just yesterday we arrived to the Middle East (it’s crazy even writing that) yet when I think about all that has happened in my life since that time it feels like a life time ago.
But yes, it is true every day is Monday here because for the most part I relive the same day over and over again. To most people my routine might seem sick or depressing; to know how scheduled and regimented my day is. But oddly enough in the five months we have been in Baghdad I have found a strange comfort in the monotony.
One way I have dealt with the repetitiveness of my life here, has been to count things. For example when I was working in the Media Escort section and driving all around the Green Zone I figured out I had driven over more than 3,000 speed bumps before I switched to a new section; or how many stairs it takes to get to the top of the palace (100 inside, 80 outside, 96 from inside back stairway); or how long it takes and how far it is to get to our office (six minutes from either going in front of or behind the palace and .034 miles); or how many hard boiled eggs I have eaten if an average is two a day (actually have lost count of that one); or what the ratio of men to women living on Prosperity is (last time I checked including civilian, there were 1,310 men and 150 women ). It is not uncommon for my fellow soldiers to hear me spew out some new number of something I have found to count. I know it may be a bit OCD, but I think we all either have or will develop some little tick to deal with Groundhogs-Day phenomenon.
It is amazing how in tune my body and mind have become to the routine. I feel like a machine in a way. Since I work out more than I ever have in my life, during the day I seriously need to eat every two and a half to three hours. Also I don’t need an alarm anymore. Pretty much without fail every morning around 0545 I wake up. It does have its advantages, but on my days off I cannot sleep in.
Every morning the first thing I do is turn my computer on so I can check my e-mail to see if anyone back home wrote me while I was sleeping. Then I turn the light on so I can make my way to the coffee pot where I fill the basin until it reaches the 4-cup dash; just enough for a mug full to last me until I get to the office. When I have begun the coffee, I leave my CHU with towel and hygiene kit in hand to make the 90-second walk (counted that one too!) to the shower trailer where I chose the same shower stall if no one else is in it.
Making my way back to my room, I proceed to get ready in the same order of sequence that I have for the past five months. I begin by putting lotion on my face, then undergarments, then ACU t-shirt. Once the t-shirt is on I grab my iPod and begin to listen to music; then pants, belt, socks and boots. When my boots are on I then make my cup of coffee. Two sugars and two hazelnut creamers (the other morning I had forgotten to get more creamers and I thought I was going to turn into a beast because I did not have my morning coffee).
Now it is time to brush my hair, getting it just right because if I don’t I find myself getting very frustrated. After my hair is done I then proceed to make another lotion-foundation cocktail for my face as I am cautious of what this intense Iraqi sun/heat/sand mixture is doing to my skin. Then, if for no other reason than to feel like I am still a girl, I apply a bit of makeup. After a ritualistic pat down to make sure I have everything I need; weapon, wallet, keys, both phones and sunglasses, I make my way out the door for the four-minute walk to the chow hall.
When I arrive I make my way past the Ugandan guards and into the building and head for the indoor latrine, where it is a treat to examine my uniform in a full-length mirror and use indoor plumbing. I then pass the sea of sleepy-eyed yet ever watching hungry soldiers, marines and civilians. With very little variation I chose the same food for breakfast every day. So much so that the workers behind the counter, who have the biggest welcoming smile on their face when I approach, know exactly what I want and if I ever chose something different or have a day off and come in late they make sure to notice.
Every day I get one to two hard boiled eggs, one MacDonald-style hash brown, and a small bowl of oatmeal. Then I make my way over to the salad bar area where I grab a pad of butter for my toast, brown sugar and raisins for my oatmeal, place one piece of wheat toast into the toaster, put some low fat milk in the oatmeal, grab a cup of ice to place my egg in so it will be easier to peal, then I go over to the cooler and get an apple juice box. When I have everything I need, I make my way to an empty table to sit in front of the TV playing CNN, where I eat my food in the same order every day.
And this is all before 0800, so you can imagine the rest of my day is filled with routine. Without fail at 0930 I notice I am hungry and make a protein shake, then I cannot wait until 1130 to go to lunch, and around 1430 I am ready for an afternoon snack. But unlike other people, I do love my routine because there is predictability and some sense of safety in this foreign land I have called home for the past six months. It feels good to go to the gym every day around the same time and see familiar faces. It is nice to sit at the same table for dinner and look around at other soldiers who are in the same boat I am.
We have six more months to go, give or take a few weeks. I am pretty excited to see what other changes will occur, small or big. I have R&R coming up in 13 days which give me so much to look forward to. It might be hard for me to leave my routine for a few weeks and allow myself to relax when I am home, and maybe even sleep past 0700. But at least I will know, unlike I did six months ago when we were making out way here, what I am coming back to.
In a way being forced to have nothing but time to reflect and gain perspective has allowed me to realize what I thought I wanted and valued in life before I left has completely changed. I have gained a new definition of independence I did not even realizes I desired. I have grown physically and emotionally strong in ways I did not know existed inside of me. And to think, before I left I was so afraid of how the deployment was going to change me.